New Shiny Toys: Chanel Sunglasses with a Bow

One of the many reasons I heart Jean Bean is that we have the same taste.  When we were shopping together in New York, we would inevitably reach for the same amazing things. It was frankly like shopping with my mom because they both have deliciously high end, girly taste.

So it came as no surprise that last weekend Jean Bean texted me, "Have you seeeeeeeeeen the Chanel sunnies with the white bows????"

I nearly pooped because not only have I seen them but MY MOM bought them for me last month. As a thank you for doing her uber complex taxes this year.  She got them for me in the brownie color because I have been wanting light colored sunnies. Do you dieeeeeeeeeeeee????

I plan to rock em this weekend in Santa Barbara where we will be kicking off Mr. Diabolina-polooza for his birthday next week. It marks the 11th birthday we've spent together.  Bananas. Love his face.










Have a great weekend - drink a glass of wine in Mr. D's name and wear something Chanel-esque in mine!  Kiss!  

New York City Day Two: Besties in the City

When you live thousands of miles away from your best girlfriend, even a rainy day spent lolling around not doing much but doing it together is a dream.  And that's exactly what Jean Beaners and I did the Friday I was out in NYC.

As the rain began to fall we had nomnomnommy breakfast at Balthazar. First star sighting of the trip: artist  Rachel Feinstein. She was surprisingly average sized for a fashionista and sheathed in a Burberry trench.  

Then Jean Bean and I hit our SoHo favorites.  Left the dressing rooms at Top Shop less than thrilled, fell in love with Rebecca Taylor prints and mini Foley + Corinna bags at Bloomie's, and worshiped all the punchy lips, bed head hair, stripper-cum-chandelier heels and silk screened prints at Prada's altar.

My Miu Miu bird heels, the ONE thing I was ready to plunk down some serious change for, were nowhere to be found.  Wah!  The sweet shop boys told me they had sold out in NYC a few hours.

And when I told him I was from L.A. he confirmed he was pretty sure they were sold out all over the country.  Then, with stars in his eyes, he asked me what the Rodeo Drive Miu Miu store was like. Ha!

After several hours of window shopping in the rain, Jean Bean and I were parched and weary so we ducked into The Mercer Hotel for several rounds of cocktails.  For a couple of hours, we sprawled out like we owned the joint and intently discussed everything from careers to Italian to weddings to books to turbans to real estate to Lanvin.  I heart her.

During our time at The Mercer, we  had our second star sighting of the day:  Adam Levine of Maroon Five.  He was uber grungy and skinny and tatted with a bunch of similarly bearded hipsters.  I used to think he was hot but now not so much.

Before we knew it, it was time to pig out again.  So we braved the elements and ended up at Momofuku Noodle Bar.  We had pork and chicken buns and ramen.

Neither of us was too impressed.  Much preferred the ramen at Ippudo during my last trip to NY and the tasty pig dinner we all had at the other Momofuku outpost.


After dinner we met Jean Bean's work husband and her real life hubby-to-be at a total dump and kept the party going.  Had so much fun that I stopped taking pictures. A+ for living, F for blogging!

Wonderful  - if even for a day - to be part of a friend's life that you don't get to see every day anymore. Especially a fashionista friend who shares my love for bold lips.

You move back here nooooooooow, Bean!

How to Look Skinny in Pictures by Mr. Architect

The good news: Jean Bean is in GQ. See her in the fuchsia and houndstooth? YAY!
The bad news: she thinks she looks bloated. Boooo!

Like a total rookie, her size 2 ass neglected to follow Mr. Architect's fundamental "How to Look Skinny In Pictures" rules. F.

 
So I figured I'd bring in the master to share his tips for size 2's and 22's alike. Edumacate us once and for all about working what your mama gave ya in photos.  This man - who works with angles and visuals all day long professionally, after all - has got looking good in pictures down to a science. And if blogging has taught me one thing, it's that what you look like in real life isn't as important as what ends up in photos. Fact: Celluloid is what lasts.

Just ask Paris ;)

 ***

First of all, ladies, you NEVER want to be on the end of a picture. EVER!  But if you are on the end, it is NOT your job to lean in.  If you do, you'll look twice as wide as the people in the middle AND desperate. Not a good combination.

If the photographer can't fit you in the picture then move to the middle, or squish everyone else.  Look, it's every vain bitch for herself!  Just DO NOT lean in! It'll always end up being a wiiiiide side shot of your whole body and then empty un-cropped space on your other side begging the question why are you the one leaning in and being all needy.

So, now let's say, through diabolical maneuvering or dumb luck, you end up in the middle of the picture, and standing next to someone either much skinnier or much taller then you.  Here's what you want to do: move your face/body back ever so slightly so that - voila! - everyone else appears a little bigger by virtue of being closer to the camera. But be VERY careful not to create a double chin when pulling backwards. This is critical.  Diabolina has shared my signature trick with you in the past and you can see the GENIUS optical illusion it creates here and here and here.

Another thing: everyone should know his/her best angle. I mean even supermodels do and most of us will never look half as good as a supermodel's worst angle! If you do not already know your angles, try tipping your head slightly down, again avoiding a double chin, but creating a shadow along the lower jaw line and therefore chiseled thin face. Eyes up and wide open looking directly into the camera.  And I always giggle a little to get a natural smile!

The only downside to my advice is that every picture I have of myself looks exactly the same.  But hey I look good-ish.

Hope you enjoyed this drivel - now go out there and make me proud!

 Love,
Mr. Architect

*** 

Amazing right? Jean Bean and I bow down.

Here is the man, the myth,  in action at recent events like Daisy Duke's birthday at Malibu Family Vineyards and the annual Trevor Project Oscars party.

Two very important final tips Mr. Architect failed to mention that every (real or imagined) celebrity knows: a) always retain veto power of any picture taken of you and b) post-production (i.e. creative cropping, blemish removal, color enhancements) is your best friend.

He is so strict about both of these rules that I have been warned not to publish HILARIOUS pictures from Monday night - involving Darth Vader, Snoop Dogg and riot police - until he is allowed to review the pictures and clean up some "issues."

I say whatevs though. Mr. Architect looked fabulous per usual.  Especially when you consider that the day before he ran his FOURTH L.A. Marathon.  He is my shero.