I'm back

It started with a Tweet.

@diabolina I miss your blog! Please write again soon 🙏#fanfrommanila
— leeleeput (@msbyuds) August 2, 2013

Followed by a Pinterest comment on my pin about the existential crisis that is blogging ;)

Two little interactions. Two tiny moments of connectedness. Two lovely instances of my soul dancing with strangers in cyberspace.

Made me remember what blogging felt like: befriending women around the world through my writing. Sharing. Creating. Feeling known. Inspiring. Making people smile, feel, think, cry and of course, shop ;)

I remembered that for four years of my life this blog was a whole thing. It was my thing. Blogging was therapy, exhibitionism, creativity and escape - all rolled in to one.

It's been hard to admit why I stopped blogging last year. The truth is that I lost my self there for a while. In my grandmother's death, in work. I questioned what I was doing with my life and even more devastating, I doubted my voice.

I retreated from fun and fashion and writing. Which left me sad and frumpy and voiceless. Not a good look on anyone – especially a fashion blogger.

It's taken me most of 2013 but I'm starting to feel like myself again. Change is in the air. I even give a fuck about shoes again. Mental note: Blanche is always right.

So how do I catch up on nearly a year of blogging? Not entirely sure. Feels like the format should evolve. Blathering on about my daily outfits seems soooooo 2008 ;)

As a lady of (gulp!) 36, I think it's more about sharing the big life "ahas" with some food and fashion porn mixed in. Kinda like this:

Life

My mom took me to Europe the summer after I got my Master's degree. Then I blinked and TWELVE years passed! So this summer, I finally returned the favor.

Not so fun back story: During my entire career, I've never taken more than 5 days off in a row. So no "big" overseas trips. Biggest regret of my 20s.

My grandmother dying was a huge wake up call. Made me finally understand that tomorrow is not guaranteed. That, in an instant, the things you put off can become regrets.  And that my (hilarious) mother may not always be this healthy...

So why not watch the fucking Eiffel Tower twinkle together more often than once a decade. It's like it took all the pain of my grandma's death to remind me that I was alive.

And guess who got in on Europa con nosotras? Yep, the man, the myth himself: Mr. Diabolina. It was our first time there together.

Trying to go through 1,500 pictures from Europe is #bougieproblems central. Here's one fave in Bruges pic.twitter.com/J1rrS6Zu4t
— Diabolina (@diabolina) July 17, 2013

He never took real vacations from the firm either. Ugh to both of us type As.

For most of this year, he's been negotiating his own career transition, wrestling his own darkness and emerging a healthier, happier man for it. I've never been prouder of him.

And, um, babies are suddenly everywhere around us right now.

If there's a baby in the room, this is where you'll find me pic.twitter.com/uS0EBtVNfQ
— Diabolina (@diabolina) June 1, 2013

Especially in our heads.

It's shocking but, for the first time in my adult life, I can actually picture myself as someone's mother. I think that's yet another by-product of losing one of the women that raised you. You want a piece of you back. You think about your legacy. You long for connections that promise forever.  

LOVE how much my godson & I look alike when we smile...and how unimpressed his sister is with us #shade&sequins pic.twitter.com/dOrFD5w5Rf
— Diabolina (@diabolina) August 13, 2013

No decisions have been made either way but it feels good to approach it head-on as a conscious choice. Stay tuned. (It's my mom's favorite channel, btw.)

Food

Celebrated my birthday dinner at the new vegetarian hot spot Crossroads with our favorite hot vegetarian architect.

Go to there even if you're a carnivore. Super creative uses of vegetables that recreate the textures of meat and seafood and cheese. The "crab cakes" are a must.

We also went to the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel for brunch that weekend. Hadn't been in nearly two decades. Too many memories of my dad, who had a clothing store there back in the day.

Mama looks like SHE's turning 36 pic.twitter.com/17ow7Zxozo
— Diabolina (@diabolina) July 28, 2013

Highly recommend for the old Hollywood glam...with a major side of French toast.

Fashion

So I get an F for hardly shopping in Europe.

After 2 weeks in Europe, I only bought 2 pairs of shoes & a few trinkets. HUGE restraint on my part #growingup pic.twitter.com/i3cQ49N52s
— Diabolina (@diabolina) July 9, 2013

Trying to make up for it with a belated birthday spree. Gave my tootsies a treat in mixed prints. Courtesy of Loeffler Randall. Obsessed in love with this brand. Comfortable, chic and reasonable...well, on sale they are.

Another yummy that I'm newly stalking: Bionda Castana. You're welcome.

BC fans send us their holiday photos :) Keep them coming... pic.twitter.com/KrUapN35nj
— biondacastana.com (@BiondaCastana) August 7, 2013

Pondering a new bag too. Was leaning toward a classic Balenciaga in a poppy, girly color because I have all the boring basics covered.

Then these two edgier Phillip Lims (for significantly less) got stuck in my lusty head. 

Confession: Increasingly obsessed with leopard and fur. Also fake eyelashes and bronzer. The transition to full drag queen is almost complete.

Feel like a woman, wear a braided gold lamé headband to jury duty
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) August 14, 2013

But I'm going to hold off on buying a bag until Phillip Lim for Target hits stores. Seems like it's going to be the best Tarjay collab since Missoni, riiiiiight????

Officially can't wait for 9/15! Loving every look at the #PhillipLimForTarget preview. https://t.co/zeiJTBt69r
— A Bullseye View (@ABullseyeView) August 12, 2013

So what's new wit-chooo?

xoxo

Diabolina Digs

Balenciaga bags that need homes.

I've been wanting one in yellow or green FOREVA.

Just saw this exact hobo in a gorgeous red at Great Labels with my mom. It's $800. Over 50 percent off!!!

We thought about it because it's exquisite but neither of us needs that color. But someone I love MUST get it. You will have it forever.


RUN RUN RUN!

The Scene
Got invited to a lovely patio lunch by a new coworker. She is sweet. Definitely a maybe. But can't commit to any friends yet. Too early. Don't want to fall in with the wrong crowd ;)

The mister and I spent the evening with The Monkeys tonight. No, not the 60s band, the family - the adorable Mr. Monkey, my blogging mentor Weezermonkey and her brother Writer Monkey aka He Who Never Smiles in Pictures.


They are avid Dodger fans and more importantly piggies so I have been positioning myself to get an invite to a game since the start of the season. And boy did they deliver.

Upon arriving, we beeline for the food. Have you ever been on the field level at Dodger stadium? I sure hadn't. It's like the Rodeo Drive of concession stands. Ruby's and Mrs. Beasley and Gordon Biersch and Canter's. Fancy-fied!

We watch the game, catch up on life, pig out, take pictures and just generally have a gay ole time. Oh and we even run into St. Jude's husband, The Brown Devil. Cute!

I normally bring a magazine to non-USC sporting events. But no need tonight. Most giggles I've had at a baseball game, well, ever. Thanks, Monkeys!


p.s. Spedi aka Spencer and Heidi were at the stadium the night before. Ugh those paparazzi whores!!! I hate that we lead the same life. Where is MY reality show and parade of Chanel bags already???

p.p.s. Here's WeeMo's tale of our three headed monster nerdiness - tee hee!





The Outfit
Luella for Target blazer
Forever 21 white tee
Mossimo skinny jeans

The Accessories
Forever 21 scarf
Steve gladiator wedges
Marc by Marc Jacobs Airline clutch
Forever 21 bangles
Me&Ro turquoise earrings

The Grade
B


The Scene
Today was about representing my Doyers. Wearing my Dodger blue. But didn't want to look sporty spice. That's just not me. At least not outside the gym. So I went for laid back chi-chi.

Built the outfit around the beauteous blue clutch because I knew WeeMo has been eyeing it and courting it since I bought it. Wanted her to paw at it in person and consummate her love for it.




Next came the blue jeans followed by the blue scarf. Got it months ago at Forever. Have been too shy to wear it for fear of looking like a rediculous poseur. Remember my fear the last time I did this bouchy neck scarf look???

It just feels a bit more indie girl than the Chanel girl I am. Makes me feel like I am going to Cochella or to pick wildflowers at sunset or whatever pixie alterna girls do.



But reminded myself that Balenciaga made it high fashion a few seasons ago so I shouldn't think of the look so narrowly.


Also loved how Kate Bosworth elevated the look by rocking a luxe scarf. Digging the pattern on a pattern too. Risky but fab. Really don't get why she is such a designer darling but she does look fierce occasionally.



Next I picked out one of my favorite Target Go International purchases. This Luella navy blazer. A $30 approximation of the Balenciaga.


It is a kaleidescope of delightful details. And you KNOW what a sucker I am for cutesy details.




Just look at the rainbow colored buttons. The white piping. The cinched waist. The slight puff at the shoulders. The back buttons.


The best part though is that cartoony inside lining. It's dotted with endless cherries. Her signature cherries. The cherries on the clutch and tote I also adore from that line.




Finally I decided to keep to the Balenciaga theme going with my new gladiator wedges. Yes, I finally succumbed to the trend after obsessing about it for the last two months.





Bought these Steven wedges on sale on Mother's day so I could get the full Bloomie's discount on my mom's Marc Jacobs shoes. Ended up being 40 percent off for a total of $75. Ouch! A bit more than I wanted to pay but they were so ugly cool I couldn't resist. And it beats practically all the prices above.




My mom didn't get them at all. She said they were too "rustic." But I like how they are so weird, almost too much between the patent and the buckles and the wedge. They're like spiders on my feet. So ominous. Alot like the Balenciagas I've been drooling over on that lucky ducky Jennifer C.




The whole look together felt rather costumey. And I'm not sure it all worked. Got a lot of confused looks all day which made me feel a little self conscious given that no one knows me at all at work.

That is until I saw Mr. D.

Everything else melted away when he saw me and pointed to his own shirt and said excitedly, "Look at my Dodger blue too!" Felt like me again when I saw myself in his eyes. Adore!




p.s. Guess who wore these delish gladiators on Monday night in Cannes???

The Scene
TGIF after a life-changing week.

Today I officially announced my departure to my entire department. It was awkward. Moving on...



Styleminded, The Peeper and I raided H&M at lunch. Have been dying to check out the Marimekko madness after Lilcee and Jean Bean both sent me emails this week. Kisses to both of you for the reminder!




[Btw, just added an email to the right column where you all can reach me for tips, feedback, fashion emergency questions, snuggles and book deal offers ;) ]





Marimekko did not disappoint this long-time fan, first-time purchaser. Was instantly overwhelmed by the explosion of prints as soon as we walked in.
Loved all the cartoony-licious prints. LOVED! So playful, so Crayola, so "I don't take myself too seriously."

Ironically the green and white pattern on the label was probably my favorite but not one they made into a garment. Wah!



Was really digging the bathing suits and shorts. But the former I don't need and the later I don't wear because, remember, I decided I can't now that I am 30. {sobbing for my lost, short-wearing youth}




Took quite a few pieces into the dressing room but only emerged with two Marimekko tops that I'll soon unveil and one little Mexico/beach dress. $61 in damage. Not bad.

Still thinking I may pop into the H&M near my house to ensure I didn't miss anything amazing...



Um, managed to go a little too bananas grabbing goodies. Emerged with this hideous, Frankenstein-esque hanger scratch. The scars you have to live with when you are a lunch hour fashion ninja ;)


Went to a delish dinner at Sofi with Sable Crow, Fancypants, Mr. Roboto and my mister. Perfectly warm night to dine al fresco.


It was hands-down the best Greek food I've ever had - hands down. There was a flaming cheese dish that set our hearts aflutter. And my mousaka was eggplanty heaven.




But the real show-stopper of the evening was Fancypants new Balenciaga clutch. Bow down to it. Worship it. It is perfection personified.




[Boy fashion aside: Tonight Sable Crow and I confirmed he and Mr. Diabolina have the same shirt. The boys get their shirts custom made from a Hong Kong tailor who comes to L.A. twice a year.


Out of the hundreds of fabric options, they managed to pick the same one. How super cute is that? Loving fashion psychic links between college roomies. Jean Bean and I keep having them across the country too. ]


The Outfit
3.1 Philip Lim midnight blue ruffle dress
Putty wrap sweater

The Accessories
Marc Jacobs putty hobo
Me&Ro necklace and earrings
Forever 21 blue and gold bangles
Abate for Payless blue and black pumps

The Grade
B+



The Commentary
Decided to forgo the casual Friday blue jean queen look in favor of a "devil with a (Philip Lim!!!) blue dress on" vibe.

Chose this dress because I wanted to look fancy for my departure announcement. Also have been wanting to wear this dress for Fancypants because I knew she'd appreciate it being my first Philip Lim and all.

Bought this delish dress the day of my last interview for the new gig. Waited out the rush hour traffic by popping into The Address (where I got the newest DVF) and Designer Labels in Santa Monica.

Found this feminine dream in the 70 percent off rack!!! A $500ish dress for $55!!!! Inconceivable!!!!

Slipped it on and instantly fell in lust. Adore the color with my skin tone, the ruffle strapless neckline, and duh the pockets.


Navy is one of Mr. Lim's signature colors as are ruffles so this dress is perfect in every way for this to be my first piece.

What I failed to notice in my giddy "70 percent off Philip Lim" stupor is that the shape isn't the best. Head on it's ok. A bit amorphous blob but ok.


From the side however it is AWFUL. I look like I am 7 months preggers. With twins. Who are in the upper percentile of weight. BLECH. Maybe that's why it was so discounted. Boo on me.

Sable Crow was disgusted with my unflattering silhouette. Fancypants suggested a belt. I am thinking the wrap sweater hid the situation as would the right jacket. Not sure I can take more of this volume trend that doesn't highlight my hard work at the gym.

In the end, when we came home and were alone, Mr. Diabolina tells me I looked "gorgeous" tonight. Choosing to believe him and not the hypercritical voices in my head.

Here are some more of my fave blue dresses from Shopbop and Neiman's - set to the tune of Devil with a Blue Dress On. How great are the lyrics???

Have a happy devilish weekend!

Fee, fee, fi, fi, fo-fo, fum
Look at Molly now, here she comes
Wearin' her wig hat and shades to match
She's got high-heel shoes and an alligator hat
Wearin' her pearls and her diamond rings
She's got bracelets on her fingers, now, and everything








{Refrain}
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on
Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on










Wearin' her perfume, Chanel No. 5
Got to be the finest girl alive
She walks real cool, catches everybody's eye
They got to be nervous, they can't say Hi
Not too skinny, she's not too fat
She's a real humdinger and I like 'em like that

{Refrain}




Good golly, Miss Molly
You sure like to ball
Good golly, Miss Molly
You sure like to ball
It's late in the evenin'
Don't you hear your mama call









From the early, early mornin' 'til the early, early nights
See Miss Molly rockin' at the House of Blue Lights
Good golly, Miss Molly
You sure like to ball
While you're rocking and you're rolling
Can't you hear your mama call

{Refrain}