Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Scene
Today I went to get more meds from the specialist who did Thursday's procedure. He said that one in a hundred patients has the reaction I've had. Fanfuckingtastic. I always love being part of the special people's club. F!

Detected more than a bit of defensiveness in the doctor's tone today. And blame. Like how dare I be such a weakling, such a problem. He did the same thing on Thursday: "If you had THIS much trouble with THIS procedure, you are going to definitely have to do the biopsy in the hospital." Ugh!!!! Seriously I don't know what kind of horses could handle having a part of their insides cut out in an office setting but I am not part of that special horse club. Fuck you very much. (And btw, I have a historically high threshold for pain. I often cut myself or bump myself and don't even realize it until someone points it out. In college, I had a fractured rib after a car accident and the doctor was shocked that I didn't come in shrieking in pain.)

I had this whole speech planned in my head for today's appointment. It basically consisted of calling this "specialist" a butcher. You see I read over the weekend that most doctors who do the procedure he did on me tend to use general or local anaesthesia. At the very least, patients are sedated. I got a big fat nothing. You have NO idea how pissed I am.

But today, I didn't say anything. I realized there was no point in assigning blame - what happened, happened. If anything, I should have done more research about the procedure and the doctor's methods beforehand. It's just that what I did know about it sounded traumatic enough and I didn't want to get even more nervous about it by reading too much online.

So today I was pleasant but forceful with the doctor. I asked a ton of questions about the biopsy and it's aftermath. As he spoke, I consoled myself with the fact that I plan to cancel the biopsy with this specialist. Have an appointment with a female doctor that a family member works with and loves at Cedars tomorrow. So today was just about getting my records and getting some pain pills and getting the hell out of a situation that was, as a doctor friend said, "emotionally and physically traumatic."

Live and learn...

The Outfit
Forever 21 dress
Old Navy wrap sweater

The Accessories
Me&Ro necklace
Louis Vuitton earrings
Fashion District ring and bracelet
Marc Jacobs bag
Stuart Weitzman sandals

The Grade
S for Special

The Commentary

I seriously feel a hundred years older than I did the last time I wore this outfit last January for my first wardrobe consultation with Amber. I've always taken my health for granted. Not anymore.

Funny how I turn to favorites when I don't feel well. Today it was a blue dress

And stripped wrap sweater

Have recently found a few summer alternatives to wrap sweaters for some of my clients

Drapey vest like thingies at Anthropologie. Perfect over slinky summer dresses for more coverage or at night for a bit of warmth.

Loving the idea of wearing solids and through on these prints. Nice switch from all the solid wraps I have.

Only downside they are in da $100 range.

Must save my pennies right now. Not sure how much all this health shit is gonna cost me. Today alone my purse was filled with medications that I might need for weeks. Boo.

{Big heavy sigh} At least my toes were deliciously pretty in pink today. Looking down at them brought me such joy. It takes so little to make me smile at times like these. Guess I'm just special like that.


WendyB said...

Wasn't it Billy Crystal who said it is better to look good than to feel good? You certainly look good!

Tabitha said...

Love that dress so cute!

Anonymous said...

Blah...hoping the next doc is better than the first.

Also, loving the short-sleeved wraps for the summer. Need a few in every color.

lookrichbitch said...

love your toes!

JCH said...

First of all, so glad your back. Second, mean doctors and ones that don't know what they are doing suck!
Third, glad you got a second opinion.
Four, I owe you tacos!

Michelle said...

Oh HELL NO. I would have told that doctor a thing or two. It makes me really mad that he made you feel that way.

Glad you're back. :)

Juana said...

You should have told him that another symptom of the procedure was the inexplicable twitching of the middle finger.

Victoria said...

hope you are feeling better and so glad you are getting second opinions. my sister has been through hell with doctors misdiagnosing or being way too aggressive. xo

tam pham said...

when i'm feeling low, i wear yellow. i didn't really mean for that to rhyme, i swear!

amber said...

Obviously, I don't know what the procedure was, but I'm sorry - anything that involves cutting needs to come with a side of anesthetic, be it local or general. F that guy. I'm really sorry you're dealing with all of this. :(

I actually bought one of those short sleeved wraps from Anthro in the spring colors and then ultimately returned it because the fit was off. :(

littlemissme said...

First of all, you look amazing. Second of all, the reaction you've had is far more common than your doctor is letting on. He shouldn't make you feel bad!


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