Gawd, I've missed bloggy blogging. The last few weeks have been bananas. Mostly consumed with first preparing for and then surviving and finally recovering from 10 days in NYC for work. And somewhere along the way, when I wasn't quite expecting it...I happened to snag a promotion at work. Woop woop.
Ended up being PURRfect timing. Meant I could do a little celebratory shopping during my Big Apple trip. Work hard, shop hard, right? Meet one of the delish products of my celebration at Bendel's: Rebecca Minkoff's bow crossbody bag. I luvre her mucho. Still hearting all things crossbody. Think the look is young and hep and forces me not to schlep so much shit around. Makes me think about what I need more carefully.
Which brings me to an interesting/awkward/important subject that I feel like addressing so indulge me, por favor. A few weeks ago at a lovely dinner with new blogger friends, we discussed how blogging has become big business with many of the well-known fashion bloggers getting agents. During that dinner, I was also made aware of bloggers sharing stories about going into debt to keep up appearances on their blogs!!
Both stories didn't sit well with me. In fact, they've been making me feel a little weird about blogging. I mean, I get it, blogging IS weird. It's this weird exhibitionist thing to do that's very "HEY LOOK AT MY LIFE." And, yes, there's a natural fit for brands to position products thrown in the mix. So I get where the pressure and the perception and the commerce and the marketing all converge for the perfect pretty profitable storm.
One real issue for me is that blogging feels like it's shifting from a place of self expression and authenticity to a place that's focused on pushing an agenda or keeping up with the Joneses. Makes me sad that plaforms that can be so empowering for real women are morphing into just another commodity...just another place to inflict glossy veneers of fakeness on each other that create separation not connection. Or even worse: maybe blogs are influencing a new generation of women to think that having things is more important than having things to say. God, I hope not.
That's why I just wanted to say that blogging for me remains about having a creative outlet, about creating a place where I found my voice again...as a storyteller and yes, fashion lover. In blogging as in life, the goal for me has always been to share and learn. I want to inspire and be inspiring. Not only with how I dress but by how I go about being a smart, funny, driven, crazy and imperfect woman on the planet.
And I suddenly feel the need to be more explicit on a topic that not enough women talk about openly: fiscal responsibility. I think it's important, if you are reading my blog, to know that I work hard for what I have. I have had a job since I was 14 years old. I have also had a mortgage and a 401K since I was 23. I have had a Mr. Diabolina for quite a while too. And while he is a BFD professionally and will spoil me on birthdays and holidays, the majority of things I feature on this blog, were bought for me, by me, in cash money, honey. No credit card debt or daddy of any kind required.
The life that I blog is the culmination of 18 years of hard work in school and a decade of busting my ass professionally. Plus, there's a healthy dose of luck thrown in there too. I am lucky to have been born to a woman who is extremely smart about managing AND enjoying her money...and who taught me to be the same way. Lucky to have found a partner and a core circle of friends that I have known for more than a decade, who are ambitious and make me want to do more, be more.
And, say what you will about this point, but I feel lucky to have been born in this country. Despite the shenanigans in DC and on Wall Street and our culture of consumption, this is still one of the best places on earth to be a woman with a plan. Period.
Often, while I blog, I marvel at the opportunities I have and think about my cousins in Guatemala. They are so educated and so hard working and yet they struggle so fundamentally to get ahead. They live in a country that just doesn't afford them the opportunities we have here. That the luck of the draw can determine the trajectory of one's potential seems so crazy unfair to me but I am crazy grateful for the hand I drew and I try to give back.
So that's a whole lotta rambling about the perception and realities behind blogging. I don't know that any of this matters to you. But it matters to me that you know I think about it, the responsibility of all of it, not just the pretty pictures ;)
Love love love this post. I have always looked at your outfit posts and shopping sprees exactly as you say they are - the rewards you've earned for yourself. And yes ok, the occasional gift from Mama D or Mr. D :) But I've never gotten a sense of you as someone who's swiping her credit card just to keep up with the pack. Congrats on the promotion and the promotion purchases!
First of all - CONGRATULATIONS on the promotion. That is amazing!
Second, thanks for highlighting something that personally means a lot to me; fiscal responsibility. I have watched so many friends through the years drive themselves into debt of the silliest of things. Don't buy it if you can't afford it and most certainly do not live your life just for now. You have to have a plan for your future (401k, Roth IRA etc) because the only person that is going to take care of you....is YOU.
Some blogs are fun to read because they are so pretty, but they are real like "The Hills" was real, which is to say not at all. I have always loved what you do because your clothes are gorgeous, but you are a real woman with a real career. You take sartorial risks, but you don't wear evening gowns to the office and always have a perfect blowout and never wear flats. Please do not be deterred from expressing yourself on this blog because of what other bloggers are doing.
I've flounced from many blogs for the reasons that you've mentioned above. You come from an honest place and when I read your blog,I know I'm reading about what YOU really think and what YOU really have going on in your life.
P.S. congrats on the promotion and the bag - it looks fabulous!
i've always had a girl crush on your style and who you are (through your blog and writing) and that girl crush just took on full blown tatus. thanks for being you :)
I could not agree with you more. I am so grateful for your post - could not have come at a better time. This is why you inspire so many, because you put it out there, you are honest, and your hard work shows. There is nothing with a woman being driven, not just to buy pretty things, but to have purpose in life. Grateful to you for expressing yourself, so others also feel comfortable doing so. You're an inspiration - more than just fashion, but in life. Congrats on the promotion! It's more than deserved!!! xo
I love this blog post! I think it's great that you share this w/ur followers, and like I tell my followers, fashion is great, but not great if it's put you & ur family in a financial bind. Thus another reason why I love thrifting and vintage shopping bc you get great deals on cute stuff, especially when you are in a bind. Would love it if you passed by my new fb page for my fashion blog & yt channel & liked it! Thanks:)
Love love love! Such a great post. I've loved following your blog exactly because you stay real about your passions, one of which is writing. I'm always interested in the content beyond the photos, and that has stayed consistent. So, congrats to keeping it balanced with thoughtful and fun, from serious to silly, I appreciate it all! And of course congrats on the promotion :)
WAy to go on the promotion! And agree with everything you said in this blog - thanks for having the balls to put yourself out there for all of us to enjoy, and for being a smart, confident example to all women. xx
I totally second what Emily in Chile said! But, wow. Bloggers going in to debt to keep their blogs going? that is INSANE. I make my own (also since I was 14!) and although I love to shop and have always since before I even started blogging I can admit to having a shopping addiction - BUT I make sure my bills are paid first and my tummy is fed (VERY important). I still have enough to save, I have a 401k and plan for my future. I live WITHIN my means, even if I'm addicted to shopping. Which is why you don't see my sporting luxury items, although I would love to someday, but it's just not within my means. I like immediate gratification so I can't give up the cheap shiny and new to save for the expensive luxury items but I'm ok with that. I don't need it to feel better about myself and "keep up with Joneses"
Great post girl! And do your thank!
FUG just realized my typo completely changed my point.
i love the post and your blog.
sure, i've thought you (and mama D) were fortunate BUT never going into debt just to buy shoes or eat out. that would be ridic.
i couldn't agree more and relate to every word, especially about having family outside the country with less opportunity.
your blog is amazing, not because you take cool photos every day with new clothes, but because you share what you wore out of your own closet to what occasion. that's what we all struggle with each day. (plus, you're hilarious and do kick ass things and take photos of kim k that we all want to see).
congrats & keep it up!
Love the miss match much look! :)
I've been a reader but never comment. I absolutely love this post. I too believe in the value of hard work!
Hi Diabolina, this post was so thoughtful that I felt like writing (and I'm usually an internet mouse). As a young mother with not too much money to spend, I usually indulge my fashion appetite by reading blogs like yours rather than actually buying things for myself. It satisfies me very well, especially yours, because your writing is just amazing. You just have a 'insightful but not taking oneself too seriously' way of viewing things.
I find that I usually purchase things when I feel like rewarding myself for some progress, and only then. I grew up in an immigrant family who didn't spend much, and I have always been very frugal. I have a number in my head of how much I want to spend each year, and somehow I manage to stay within that amount. I made an unusually large purchase this summer (Cole Haan shoes), and have bought almost nothing since then.
I just wanted to say that your blog really transcends the level of 'advertisement for cool clothes' and reaches a level that-- dare I call it? literary. I will use a soppy term here: it feeds the soul.
So thank you for your writings, and I admire you very much (not for your clothes, but for your thoughts and ideas). Go girl! :)
love this post! and your blog. I've never been motivated to comment on any of the blogs that I follow, but your post was just so well-stated and rings so true not just of the blogging community, but of society as a whole, that I had to say something! honestly, this post has motivated me to want to do better and just enjoy life and to be grateful for everything that I have and have experienced. excellent! and congrats on the promotion ... you most definitely deserve it. xo, k. ;-)
I love your blog even more!
Why are you so effing awesome?!
I love,love, love this post. I love your blog because it's been awesome to see you evolve as a writer and a fashionista. I've always thought of you as a fiscally responsible fashion blogger which I appreciate.
My girl crush on your is now full blown love. Yours is the only fashion blog I check consistently because I've always felt like you keep it real. It's clear that you are a hard working women who spends wisely. I'm working towards becoming more like that after a couple years of overspending in college.
Some of the choices you've made when shopping and your explanations of why you didn't buy things have been really helpful to me. I hope you continue blogging the way you have - you are an inspiration!
Thanks for this post. I tend to quit reading blogs when I feel they start to get to commercial. I still have a hard time with blogging being a person's FT job--it doesn't seem the right platform and, once a person starts accepting money/goods from a company, she or he has to start censoring their thoughts, no?
p.s. Love the outfit. Mixing patterns floats my boat.
D I love this! Glad you addressed it :) Love the bag! Congrats on the promo you stud muffin! Hope to see you soon xoxo jojoyo
Ugh, I LOVE when you throw down your lethal intellect! And I vastly prefer your post to the one you recommended, because you did not stoop to using another person as a wedge for your own issue. Kisses.
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