Sunday, June 8, 2008

The Scene
Late night + jetlag = busted. F.

Peaches hands me this hilarious napkin with my morning cup of Kona. The froggie looks how I feel ;)

Casually mention that I’d like pancakes and before I know it Peach is whipping up a batch with a batter he wants to try. He pulls out all the stops. Berries and whip cream and real maple syrup. ADORE HIM!

AND THEN he proceeds to whip up what he calls course #2. Eggwhite scramble with veggies and turkey bacon. HEARTS IN MY EYES FOR HIM. But ugh I’d be 800 lbs if we lived in the same city. I'm definitely better off living with a mister that doesn't like to eat. Sigh.

Mr. Producer returns from the gym and the three of us talk Domino decorating, Broadway musicals and Europop. The two of them even conspire on a “mixed tape” they have to burn for me before I go. BEST.BOYZ.EVER.

Midday I brave the mean streets alone to meet Jean Bean. We have a muy important fashion date. She's booked an hour long appointment at a bridal shop that’s an institution in NY. She found out they were having a sample sale during my visit and said she needed my support. Said she'd never think to attempt a bridal sample sale without me. YAY I'm good for SOMETHING :)

We enter the store...anxiously. My fight/flight response kicks in immediately. It's really like no retail experience we've ever encountered in 30 years. I keep an eye on all my exits.

It's crawling with vags.The scene is a cross between a sorority and Hollywood Blvd. It’s full of tittering estrogen and na├»ve dreams of happily ever after. Jean Bean and I don’t quite belong.

In the last few months, I've realized that even though we are uber girly we're not particularly wedding girly girls. We didn't plan our weddings as little girls. We subscribed to Vogue not Bride.

Think our 20s were pretty singularly focused on getting graduate degrees, building fabulous social networks, creating professional reputations, landing designer goods on a budget. A wedding hasn't really ever been the end goal.

A relationship with a good man who appreciates a strong independent intelligent woman? YES. A big fluffy public declaration of that relationship? Not so much. Besides, we've got plenty of glam events to get dressed up for so a wedding wouldn’t necessarily be our be-all-end-all Cinderella moment.

Nevertheless, we both like a deal so we meet with a little bridal consultant in a private room and try to act like we were raised right. She gathers details about Jean Bean’s vision for her wedding. Then Jean Bean and I pick out 3 sample sale dresses and she fetches three more regularly priced ones.

Despite being told I couldn’t take pictures under penalty of death, I did. (WARNING: The one shown being the least flattering because it weighed a ton and wasn't completely clamped.)

I choked up when Jean Bean slipped on the first gown. Sometimes I am the ultimate sappy vag (eww that sounds gross!) This Lazarro lacy column was the final dress and our favorite. A little more than she wants to pay but I'm confident the right dress will find her. Maybe a designer friend will lend her something...

Although we didn't walk out with what Texas Cowboy called our very own "white trash bag," we did learn a few things:

  • Wedding dresses cost too much. And we are cheap.
  • With her lithe figure, she can pull off even the most unforgiving charmuese material. What a skinny marathon running, yoga teaching, vegetarian eating bitch!!
  • Strapless may not be as flattering as straps for her. A good thing since strapless would likely give her conservative Asian mother a coronary.
  • Lace overlays are a romantic sexy option when they are fitted.
  • Sashes can completely change the look of a dress. It might be neat to do one obi style!
  • And finally Jean Bean should keep an open mind as we are in unchartered fashion territory.

The boys meet us and look similarly uncomf about the vaggy scene in the store. Not sure they would have stepped foot inside if it wasn't for the sweltering heat.

We high tail it out of there but not before Peaches picks out the gaudiest dress as his fave. It would be purrfect if Jean was Betsey Johnson. F.

Next up, Canal Street. I am on a mission to find my mom's faux Goyard and maybe some good sunnies inspired by Chloe. Jean Bean wants me to teach her the ways of faux interlocking C's.

We get some fairly good trinkets of deceit. We even are shocked to find pretty good Prada fairy facsimiles (Yes, already. And yes, I didn't like them at first but now I wanna!)

Alas the Goyard is no where to be found. Shocking because they were all over the city when I came last October. Got two bags for my mom for $65.

We go into back room after back room only to get told "NO GOYARD" in less than friendly tones. Me thinks they are cracking down on those and so no vendor is stocking them.

After an hour I am ready to give up. But picture my mom's tiny sad face and give it one last ditch effort. I tell a kind faced street hustler that I want Goyard, I need Goyard.

And miraculously, he doesn't bark no at me. Instead he leads me down a GREAT stall (full of AMAZING YSL and Balenciaga knock-offs) to the motherload.

Behold The Precious. Wasn't crazy about the stripe or the price (haggled down to $55) but I think my mom will like it.

We reward the boys' patience with a trip to Chinatown for deliciousness. Peach leads the way and we end up inhaling a feast.

Behold The Yummy aka garlic chicken.

What he lacks in fashion taste, my Peach more than makes up for in restaurant savvy.

We pick up Mr. Producer at the condo and the two couples drop me off at Penn Station. Texas Cowboy carries my stuff. How lucky am I.

I manage not to cry when we all part but I want to. What a visit. What friends!

Ride the Accelea to Boston, prep for my conference and hit the hay late. Only gonna get four hours of sleep tonight. The conference is going to be interesting...

The Outfit
Fashion District halter dress

The Accessories
Me&Ro necklace
Louis Vuitton earrings
Forever 21 bangles
H&M scarf
Marc Jacobs Irina bag
Stuart Weitzman sandals
Chanel sunglasses

The Grade

The Commentary
You'd never know I was dripping sweat and feeling foul in this outfit, huh? Well I was. Walking around downtown was misery. Only the promise of good fakes and better Chinese food could ever compel me to be outside on a day like today.

A word on fakes. I was not opposed to them in college and grad school. I had no money but had the same eye for luxury goods which equals sadness. Fake bags were the only way to go.

Once you buy a real designer purse however you can't ever go back to fakes. So I haven't bought one in like 7 years. The Goyard seems different to me though because the real one is essentially a plastic tote that retails for nearly $1000. F that. And frankly no one really knows that brand in L.A. I still wouldn't carry it but my mom likes it so I got it.

The jewelry though I just think is trashy fun. $10 instead of hundreds. And that's all costume jewlery - no stones or gold. When you pair it with real Chanel shoes and a bag no one is the wiser and I just think it's funny. Need to stop buying them tho. Don't want to contribute to terrorism and child slavery and all that. Ugh.

Back to the outfit. Love the color of this dress with the bag. Very summer chic. Notice in the picture above that Jean Bean was wearing her Marc bag in saddle too. YAY! She loves being twinsies and I love her for it.

Are you loving the new H&M scarf??? I am. Will match so many outfits this summer.

Wore it on the train only. It was too hot to be mistaken for Rachel Ray during the day (How REDIC was that whole fashion fiasco! Dunkin Donuts should never have pulled it!)

Rocked my Me&Ro necklace underneath. So I felt Mr. Diabolina was close by even though he was a coast away.


Jean Bean said...

Thank you for braving the bridal experience with me! Ladies, the bridal industry is NOT your ally. Read "One Perfect Day" by Rebecca Mead and just say no!

tam pham said...

finally a new post! oh how i love canal street. pushy little asian biatches...i feel right at home! ha! love the chanel goodies...not loving that i spent a crapload on the real stuff and your stuff looks just as real. that was nice of you to go to Kleinfled with JB...have you seen "Say Yes to the Dress" which is set at that very store??? those salespeople are creepy.

weezermonkey said...

I am so impressed you braved Kleinfeld.

Two words: Sample Sales!

Trisha said...

Your stuff about knock off handbags reminds me of the episode of SATC when Samantha and Carrie went for knockoff Fendi bags in the trunk of someone's car in LA :)

LBIC said...

Now I'm in the mood for pancakes and chicken. I think I saw that combo on an Alton Brown show, actually.

Anyways, I used to work in a bridal store when I was in high school and I always got choked up when I saw a girl find "her" dress. Then again I still cry during the Lion King, so yeah.

Sable Crow said...

A word on fakes: today I'm wearing my favorite Gucci jeans, paired with a Guccisima belt I got in Florence. With my Guccisima briefcase, no one bothers to question the belt's provenance. Context is important, and if you're going to pull of a fake, downplay it. It works almost every time... It's all about the pairing: with Gucci jeans and hidden behind the soft gabardine of my favorite sportcoat, a little chrome GG seems to fit. It's perfectly contextual.

But look closer! My swank belt was bought for 7 EUR from a man who SWORE I wasn't American (apparently, no American had ever haggled him as much as I did--like I was going to pay 40 EUR!). If you're going to buy fakes, be strong, and be willing to walk away. Make fun of the product, and make eye contact. Know your luxury goods, and point out the flaws. Laugh. Chances are you'll find the same thing a few blankets down, and they know it. (Except--apparently--for Goyard bags!)

By the end of my Florence trip, the girls were all over me to help them find purses that didn't look like knockoffs and Rolexes for the boyfriends back home that swept instead of ticked. F. But the Fashionista is right: beware the golden goose. Once you have the real stuff, you won't go back to fakes except for throwaway pieces. And remember the golden rule: NEVER make a fake the center of attention. You must ALWAYS outclass it with something real and quality.

JillFantastic said...

Love the lacey dresses Jean tried on. And I'm a big fan of straps vs. strapless - I'm getting married in a lace overlay dress with straps in 2 weeks! Woo hoo!
And love the knock off Chanel earrings. Do you think I could find those in downtown LA?

dapotato said...

you are making me miss NY so much.

Jean Bean said...

Also, you can't get away with faking something that is too ubiquitous, like an iconic bag. A belt or a piece of costume jewelry are perfect because people aren't familiar enough to judge.

MissJordyPants said...

The key to wedding gowns - avoid the salons. The dress I almost bought was $4k in LA, $3k in NC and $2k at Pearls Place. They order from the designer, but don't upcharge the crap out of it. Got my bridesmaids dresses from them and they were perfection!

amber said...

someone else mentioned it, but pearl's place is a bride's bestie. same designer names for much less than retail. i wish i had known about them before i bought my dress, but at least my bridesmaids reaped the benefit. i'm also a big fan of straps on a wedding dress. :)

i'm loving your and sable crow's schooling on fakes. great points.


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