I'm back

It started with a Tweet.

@diabolina I miss your blog! Please write again soon 🙏#fanfrommanila
— leeleeput (@msbyuds) August 2, 2013

Followed by a Pinterest comment on my pin about the existential crisis that is blogging ;)

Two little interactions. Two tiny moments of connectedness. Two lovely instances of my soul dancing with strangers in cyberspace.

Made me remember what blogging felt like: befriending women around the world through my writing. Sharing. Creating. Feeling known. Inspiring. Making people smile, feel, think, cry and of course, shop ;)

I remembered that for four years of my life this blog was a whole thing. It was my thing. Blogging was therapy, exhibitionism, creativity and escape - all rolled in to one.

It's been hard to admit why I stopped blogging last year. The truth is that I lost my self there for a while. In my grandmother's death, in work. I questioned what I was doing with my life and even more devastating, I doubted my voice.

I retreated from fun and fashion and writing. Which left me sad and frumpy and voiceless. Not a good look on anyone – especially a fashion blogger.

It's taken me most of 2013 but I'm starting to feel like myself again. Change is in the air. I even give a fuck about shoes again. Mental note: Blanche is always right.

So how do I catch up on nearly a year of blogging? Not entirely sure. Feels like the format should evolve. Blathering on about my daily outfits seems soooooo 2008 ;)

As a lady of (gulp!) 36, I think it's more about sharing the big life "ahas" with some food and fashion porn mixed in. Kinda like this:

Life

My mom took me to Europe the summer after I got my Master's degree. Then I blinked and TWELVE years passed! So this summer, I finally returned the favor.

Not so fun back story: During my entire career, I've never taken more than 5 days off in a row. So no "big" overseas trips. Biggest regret of my 20s.

My grandmother dying was a huge wake up call. Made me finally understand that tomorrow is not guaranteed. That, in an instant, the things you put off can become regrets.  And that my (hilarious) mother may not always be this healthy...

So why not watch the fucking Eiffel Tower twinkle together more often than once a decade. It's like it took all the pain of my grandma's death to remind me that I was alive.

And guess who got in on Europa con nosotras? Yep, the man, the myth himself: Mr. Diabolina. It was our first time there together.

Trying to go through 1,500 pictures from Europe is #bougieproblems central. Here's one fave in Bruges pic.twitter.com/J1rrS6Zu4t
— Diabolina (@diabolina) July 17, 2013

He never took real vacations from the firm either. Ugh to both of us type As.

For most of this year, he's been negotiating his own career transition, wrestling his own darkness and emerging a healthier, happier man for it. I've never been prouder of him.

And, um, babies are suddenly everywhere around us right now.

If there's a baby in the room, this is where you'll find me pic.twitter.com/uS0EBtVNfQ
— Diabolina (@diabolina) June 1, 2013

Especially in our heads.

It's shocking but, for the first time in my adult life, I can actually picture myself as someone's mother. I think that's yet another by-product of losing one of the women that raised you. You want a piece of you back. You think about your legacy. You long for connections that promise forever.  

LOVE how much my godson & I look alike when we smile...and how unimpressed his sister is with us #shade&sequins pic.twitter.com/dOrFD5w5Rf
— Diabolina (@diabolina) August 13, 2013

No decisions have been made either way but it feels good to approach it head-on as a conscious choice. Stay tuned. (It's my mom's favorite channel, btw.)

Food

Celebrated my birthday dinner at the new vegetarian hot spot Crossroads with our favorite hot vegetarian architect.

Go to there even if you're a carnivore. Super creative uses of vegetables that recreate the textures of meat and seafood and cheese. The "crab cakes" are a must.

We also went to the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel for brunch that weekend. Hadn't been in nearly two decades. Too many memories of my dad, who had a clothing store there back in the day.

Mama looks like SHE's turning 36 pic.twitter.com/17ow7Zxozo
— Diabolina (@diabolina) July 28, 2013

Highly recommend for the old Hollywood glam...with a major side of French toast.

Fashion

So I get an F for hardly shopping in Europe.

After 2 weeks in Europe, I only bought 2 pairs of shoes & a few trinkets. HUGE restraint on my part #growingup pic.twitter.com/i3cQ49N52s
— Diabolina (@diabolina) July 9, 2013

Trying to make up for it with a belated birthday spree. Gave my tootsies a treat in mixed prints. Courtesy of Loeffler Randall. Obsessed in love with this brand. Comfortable, chic and reasonable...well, on sale they are.

Another yummy that I'm newly stalking: Bionda Castana. You're welcome.

BC fans send us their holiday photos :) Keep them coming... pic.twitter.com/KrUapN35nj
— biondacastana.com (@BiondaCastana) August 7, 2013

Pondering a new bag too. Was leaning toward a classic Balenciaga in a poppy, girly color because I have all the boring basics covered.

Then these two edgier Phillip Lims (for significantly less) got stuck in my lusty head. 

Confession: Increasingly obsessed with leopard and fur. Also fake eyelashes and bronzer. The transition to full drag queen is almost complete.

Feel like a woman, wear a braided gold lamé headband to jury duty
— RuPaul (@RuPaul) August 14, 2013

But I'm going to hold off on buying a bag until Phillip Lim for Target hits stores. Seems like it's going to be the best Tarjay collab since Missoni, riiiiiight????

Officially can't wait for 9/15! Loving every look at the #PhillipLimForTarget preview. https://t.co/zeiJTBt69r
— A Bullseye View (@ABullseyeView) August 12, 2013

So what's new wit-chooo?

xoxo