Sunday, September 27, 2020

How to Dress for Zoom

   Since March, this has been my squad/pod. 


Interactions with other humans now take place on 1) Zoom for Mini Diabolina's school 2) FaceTime for friends and family or 3) WebEx for work. Which means I now need to "dress from the tits up," according to my bestie. And that pretty peach knows dressing from the tits up. 



After all, he's an actor who's been perfecting the art of the headshot his entire career.


And, more than ever, I'm thinking about MY professional brand too. Working to be even MORE of a rock star at work than usual. Probably triggered by the people acting - and looking - like they are falling apart. And I get it: This shit isn't easy for anyone. But we have to play the long game and keep our shit together. 

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Things aren't going back any time soon. PLEASE read this article: "Here's How The Pandemic Finally Ends."  Difficult to metabolize but important to be realistic. 

Tough times will continue. Jobs will continue to evaporate. Feels like differentiating ourselves at work is key NOW - especially if you are a working mom over 40. So is staying sane and feeling good.

So here's my current sartorial strategy to do all three and at the very least, appear like the person with their shit together on Zoom.

Step one: Put on a crown.  

My grays + frizz + self-cut bangs = a M-E-S-S. So a headband has been an easy way to look pulled together for calls when my hair is not. Most of the ones I wear on repeat are under $20 from Etsy, H&M, Forever 21, Zara and Amazon. I'm partial to a turban knot look because I like the drama and retro feel. 

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Truth be told, I'm kinda addicted to buying them at the moment. Feels like I accomplish something at work and reward myself with one. Sad but true. Plus I just tell myself: "I've found my signature look. Let me have this ONE THING, Dianne."  I'm the worst. 

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Recently, in a big meeting, a colleague said to me, "Is that a...crown on your head?" Now, this woman and I don't know each other at all so she genuinely might have been wondering...but really? Out loud?  

I laughed breezily in response and replied, "It IS a crown!  Of sorts." Then moved the camera in for a closeup and deadpanned: "It's actually just a headband with pearls on it, folks." Everyone laughed, charmed by the comedienne/queen in their midst. 

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I do have three glorious headbands that FEEL like crowns. By Lele Sadoughi.  So LUXE.

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Her brand is one of my absolute faves right now. The details! The unapologetic femininity! The quality! My big brain actually feels the big difference! The price point is high but there are often DEEP sales.

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(She just launched her signature PEARLS ON MASK EAR HOOKS! I'll do a mask post soon - they are another fact of life/accessory that's not going away any time soon. )

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I love when the human behind brand lives up to the products. AND Lele does. She just exudes this relaxed, timeless elegance. Very European.

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Also she is all about mommy and me matching.

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Before the apocalypse, that was our jam too. :(

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If headbands are not your thing, simply swap out with statement earrings. They are actually what first got me turned on to the brand.  

Lele Sadoughi headband

They are lighter than they look but my lobes can now only handle tiny earrings. Not very Zoom-tastic. F to a misspent youth wearing too-heavy earrings. 

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Step 2: Throw a neck party. 

Remember arm parties about 8 years ago? I'm still into them but in our current doomsday digital scenario, we also have to create some visual interest BETWEEN the face and tits. See RBG for reference (may her badass soul rest in peace.)  

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Right now, I'm bananas for neck candy from Roxanne Assoulin. Love her tagline, "Jewelry that makes you smile." What we all need right now. 

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Just discovered this brand that's a lower price point but chic and well-crafted: Coralie Retire. Got the rainbow pearls and the vote necklace. 

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Thinking about this other combo. Just right for spring. God that seems like forever from now, doesn't it? 

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I've been digging out old Etsy, Antrho and Madewell too.


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Been drawing inspo from Jennifer Meyer with more delicate gold layered looks. My Me&Ro pendant is the only piece of jewelry I never take off so that anchors the neck party. 

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But oooofa layering is hard. I have one of those necklace connector thingies but even then it can be tangle city. Does obscenely 'spensive gold just play better? Is my oldy moldy neck the problem? 

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Got my eye on some more reasonably priced Ragen Jewels to investigate and test my theories.


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Step 3. Add a puffed shoulder. 

Puffy shoulders have been my everything for the last few years. Gimme all the 80s, vaguely Shakespearean, fancy shoulder action. 

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Think I learned it from the Goopster herself.  

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But really I think I love them because the remind me of my childhood. They feel sweet and innocent and comforting somehow.

If puffy shoulders are not for you, try other details at the neckline or vibrant prints or even bold solid colors. I'll blog about some pretties that fit the bill like Farm Rio, LoveShackFancy, Ganni and Celia B.  



Farm Rio Love Shack fancy Ganni Celia B

Step 4. Finally, really go for it with makeup. 

My skin has been a dumpster fire since the world became one. So I've been letting it breathe most days but going cray with the eye makeup. For a while, I was joking with Mr. D. that the brighter my eye makeup, the more depressed I felt. Le sigh. 



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Do it up with color and wings and sparkle. Anything to look and feel more awake and happy. Taking inspo from the Fenty Beauty. Gotta keep up with the youths. 

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And that's really it. Try one or all of these tricks to feel more pulled together...from the tits up...at home..in a pandemic...while homeschooling your child...and being even better at your job. 


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Yes it is too damn much. But our kids are watching and learning. This one has already perfected her own Zoom look. 

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Clearly, has her eyes on the blogging crown. 

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