Monday, August 11, 2008

The Scene
Monday. Blah. Incredible how just one week ago my Monday blahs had a completely different flavor. Life has a way of playing out how you least expect it.

Feeling numb today. I felt like crying most of the day but the tears wouldn't come. Think I am all cried out.

Thank God for Mr. Diabolina. I'd be lost without him. He has been wonderful - doing and saying all the right things, caring for me, holding my hand.

I wrote this about him a few years ago and well, it says it all:

He is my everything.
Everything I need and everything I never knew I needed.

He is my pillar. Of strength. Of comfort.

He is beautiful in obvious ways. And what's even better, he is beautiful in ways you cannot even begin to imagine.

He is mine. Unequivocably and forever - no matter what.
He is linked to my spirit in a way no one else will ever rival.

When I was 18, he stole my heart. In a cabin in the woods. It was snowing when I met the boy who could become the man who would be my everything.

When I turned 19, he sent me the most beautiful pink roses. When I was 19, he told me he loved me.

In the eerie darkness of his college apartment, when we were both 19, he was the first person to tell me how sorry he was about my dad's death. He was the first person who really shared my pain. And wasn't scared of it. This boy, he didn't run away from it, he walked right up to it. He saw the beauty in me because of it.

And looking into his endless blue eyes, so full of love for me, scared me. It scared me to find someone who might actually be able to handle it, handle me. All of me.

We broke up when we were 19 and got back together when we were 21. I think everyone knew we would. Except us.

It happened in downtown. In November. We flirted and danced around each other all night. Like we had for so many nights before. Then finally we sat down. We talked about us. We talked about what ifs.

And I told him, through tears, I could only get back together again if he promised me it would be forever. If he promised me forever, I was his.

And he did - so I was.
I am his. Forever.

The Outfit
Forever 21 dress and eyelet jacket

The Accessories
Me&Ro necklace
Chanel bag
Louis Vuitton earrings
Prada ombre shoes

The Grade

The Commentary
Felt comfortable but chic today. Easy but glamorous. Pretty in pink :)

This is the ultimate high-low outfit. Andie Walsh would be proud. The clothes are inexpensive but look languidly luxe paired with the gorgeous designer accents. Everything feels balanced. Shapes, lengths, textures. LOVE LOVE LOVE!

The black and pink is very prima ballerina, no? I took ballet for a couple of years when I was about 5. Think my mom thought it'd help with our clumsy gene. Unfortunately, it didn't. Am still as prone to falling as ever.

But it did nurture my love of all things girlie. Of the beauty in fluidity and clean lines. I loved the ritual of getting dressed for class and performances. The pinkie tights and lacing the shoes and pulling back my hair into a bun. Loved all that much more than the actual ballet.

Nearly every year, designers find inspiration in ballet and borrow heavily from that world. The color palette. The flouncy femininity. The simple elegance. The romance.

For pre-fall 2008, Zac Posen did "poodle ballet." Adore every piece - particularly the purple pumps! And the mixture of textures was inspired genius. I want.

The sisters Mulleavy of Rodarte also sent ballerinas down the runway for Fall 2008. Except their dancers dripped punk fierceness. There was such strength in the frothiness, ugly in the pretty.

Ugh. I CANNOT get the shoes and the tights from that show out of my mind. Very broken doll meets Mad Max.

Can totally see Gwyneth with her shoe and leg fetish sporting them in the near future.

Adoring that the Mulleavy sisters are So Cal girls. They grew up in Pasadena - the home of the Tournament of Roses and the Richter scale. Their collections just seem to keep getting better and better, really capturing the attention of the fashion world. Who says L.A. isn't a fashion capital?

p.s. Check out the latest Who What Wear Daily post that uses pieces inspired by Diabolina - I mean Alexander Wang ;)


WendyB said...

I give that outfit an A+ too.

amber said...

if it makes you feel any better, i've danced for years and still can't walk around without tripping over or walking into stuff. ha!

love the pink and black combo today. very pretty.

love what you wrote about mr. d. made my eyes well up a bit.

leah @maritalbless said...

I've lurked a bit and adore your fashion, but felt compelled to comment in response to your words about mr. d.

You love story involves so many other verbs than love. Very special.

MissJordyPants said...

Love how Mr.D and you love each other. It's beautiful and inspiring.

Lynn Tran said...


R said...

That piece you shared about Mr. D was beautiful.

Sable Crow said...

It's a good thing the patriarch just left for the day; I'm so moved over your description of Mr. D.

My heart aches watching the two of you.

Do you know something? Do you know how it's such a blessing in MY life to have the honor of bearing witness to the two of you?

No expectations, just wonder: a sense that I'm watching something magical and beyond me. Like a sunrise, or a comet, or the shameless unfurling of a peony.

13 years ago this month we all met, and so it goes... with better clothes, of course.

Sable Crow

Juana said...

I love that you found love in downtown LA.

Ly said...

palabras bellas. have you read Isabelle Allende? your writing style is reminiscent of hers - I find her raw, candid, hearfelt and sometimes gut-wrenching writing to be beautiful. Shes very talented, and so are you!

tam pham said...

your beautiful words about mr. d made me tear up a little. damn you and your deep thoughts for making me a whimpering little puss :-).

did you get the new Nordstroms catalog (high end designers only)? the rodarte page was stunning.

weezermonkey said...

Yay for Mr. D! Very sweet.

dapotato said...

so sweet. i feel ya!

i think i might be able to stomach pink when paired with black. i need to rock the girly colors better/more often.

Jean Bean said...

I remember that night! And the next thing I knew, Mr. D was exiting the bathroom in a Mulan towel.

Da Fashionista said...


Victoria said...

i had no idea you and the mr. have been together that long... amazing!

Tiffany said...

again, amazing writing. The last two paragraphs, so touching. just love.


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