Very emotionally turbulent day. We're talking a 10.1 on the Richter scale.
Started with a surprise brunch St. JudE put together for M&M. She's been understandably having a hard time adjusting to being wheelchair bound. We wanted to remind her we're here for her, enjoy some girlie piggie time together.
We caught up about her new physical therapy center, the new car she's got her eye on and the other set of wheels (her wheelchair right now is rented) she's been looking to purchase. Gawd, how her life has changed in just 3 months.
When she gobbled up the menu and savored ordering, I smiled. At least her appetite hasn't been affected. That would have been a REAL tragedy.
I teared up a few times but just kept knocking back mimosas to put on a good face. Speaking of faces, Chowmein was a bit puffy after getting her wisdom teeth taken out. She was self conscious about how her cheeks would photograph. I said welcome to my life ;)
As brunch wrapped up, I realized M&M had no idea about my mom. So we cried a bit and then the flood gates opened. She shared what a financial strain the accident has become. How emotionally drained she feels. How frustrating it is to go out and be at home.
And I noticed all morning how people reacted to her in the chair. They either stared or they looked past her. They don't know what she's been through, who she is, that that wheelchair doesn't define her. Ugh.
She is such a tough independent woman. And she finds it hard to ask for help, show vulnerability. I can relate. So we just reminded her that we're here for her, WHATEVER she needs, she just needs to ask.
In the short term, we gleaned that housekeeping help is crucial. Doing the dishes, cleaning floors and laundry are Herculean tasks for her now. She asked the doctor the other day how women with spinal cord inquiries clean the house. The doctor replied that since 92% of spinal cord injuries are men, the women in their lives normally handle the household chores. F.
Some of us plan to chip in to hire a cleaning service to help her for the next few months. Just a little thing we can do to help. She's given us so much over the years. It's what she would do if the tables were turned.
While I was with the girls, Mr. Diabolina took my mom to see his cousin who is a doctor at USC Medical Center for a referral. Everything went smoothly and my mom and I had a nice dinner.
But soon after this picture, she had a total meltdown. An angry-at-the-world meltdown. Horrible. For the first time, she got negative and fatalistic. She said ugly ugly things.
It was hard to take and not breakdown too. But I tried to be patient, understand that it was just her fear talking. Many friends who have had parents with health issues tell me all this is normal. The stages of grief and all. Think it's going to be important for her to get into a support group. She just isn't one that has much faith in the mental health field. Sigh.
Draining day after a roller coaster of week. Felt like being in NYC. Something's always flying at your balls.
Trina Turk dress
Banks and Biddle bangle
Canal Street earrings
Stella McCartney bag
Manolo Blahnik heels
Decided to turn it OUT for M&M. And for myself. And for my mom. Did my hair for the first time in ages. Choose this delicious dress because it's so girly and summery. Just screams "girls' brunch."
Got it at Great Labels. $45. The pattern isn't my favorite Trina Turk but the shape is just so flattering. This is one of the few dresses I have that actually creates the illusion of a waist convincingly.
The deep V is quite deep, no? Am realizing I do that neckline ALOT. I swear I'm not a hoochie :) It's just a cut that works well on me. Draws attention to the good gravity-defying bits not the wobbly, going-south-quickly parts.
It's a neckline JLo does often and well too. Likely for the same reasons.
Draws attention up instead of down to the hips that don't lie.
Like me, she typically balances the sexiness of the plunging neckline with pretty natural makeup. No red lips and sooty eyes.
And even this barely there infamous look was technically a maxi. The plunging neckline would skew ho if the hemline was sky high too. It's about balance.
I also tend to wear the neckline when I'm going to be in a group or with Mr. Diabolina. Lessens the likelihood that men will misread the fashion statement as an invitation.
Think the back view of this dress is a little chunky monkey unfortunately. Wah. But who's looking there, right? Not like I'm ACTUALLY JLo or anything.