Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Scene
My mama's 6 month MRI today. We were at the doctor by 8:30. Laughing by 8:31.

By noon, the fear we'd both been wrestling with all week subsided. We'd been chatting all morning, distracting each other, and enjoying each other. When we're together it seems like nothing bad could possibly happen.






























So when the doctor came in with the MRI results and quietly told us the tumor is growing and causing swelling in my mom's cerebellum, we were caught off guard. To say the least.

I hope you've never gone through something like this. A moment when you see your parent PHYSICALLY shrink with fear. They suddenly look tiny even though they've always seemed larger than life to you. All you want to do is protect them, make the bad things go away, fix this, end this.

So in an instant, the tables turn and you become the parent. You calmly ask the doctor all the key questions about next steps. And even though your voice breaks several times, you speak forcibly so he hears you, really hears you, so he knows you're entrusting him with the most important thing in your life. And when you see him taking you seriously, and maybe even looking a little afraid of you, you feel in control.

You also feel grateful. Yes, grateful. Grateful that she's not in pain. Grateful that it's not cancer. Grateful that you've had a year to metabolize the possibility of all this. Grateful that you've done the research, that you've talked to people who have gone through the surgery and the radiation.

You feel grateful that you have access to top of the line health care. Grateful that the minute you tell your friends the phone won't stop ringing, that your support system is so broad and unwavering. Grateful that you know it will be tough but that you will get through this; that this is not where the story of you and her ends.

Not even close.

And maybe most of all, you feel grateful that you can take her out for ice cream and make her laugh. Like she used to when you were little and afraid.

























The Outfit
Forever 21 dress
Image wrap sweater

The Accessories
Nordstrom scarf
Manolo Blahnik heels
Louis Vuitton earrings
Stella McCartney bag

The Grade
A
















The Scene
Built the outfit around the scarf. But the shoes got all the attention today. Like they always do.

Some big burly dude in the hospital said, "Nice shoes." To which my mom snorted and put her arm around me. She whispered to me, "What a pervert!!! Like we don't know that he MEANT nice legs."

Seriously what would I do without her????





























27 comments:

Mariel said...

i will be praying for your mama.

Anonymous said...

sending you and your mom love and prayers

Tracee said...

my thoughts are with you and your mom.

HazelnutPhotography said...

lots of hugs and kisses to you both.

The Modern Type said...

you and your mom will definitely be in my prayers lady. so lucky to have one another.

Kimberly said...

Oh my sweet dears, so sorry to read this, but lots of positive vibes being sent your mama's way!

Mary said...

Definitely will be keeping you and your lovely mom in my thoughts and prayers.

weezermonkey said...

<3

ShoeZQ said...

Sending lots of love, warmth, and healing vibes your way.

Fashion_Loving_Stylist said...

You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

WendyB said...

Ugh, what unexpected news. Hoping for the best. Love your mom's shoe/leg comment.

A Shopaholic in Chicago said...

I starting crying while reading this post.

You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

Vanessa said...

I too started to cry while reading this post. It hit home in so many ways. The lines "A moment when you see your parent PHYSICALLY shrink with fear. They suddenly look tiny even though they've always seemed larger than life to you." I lost my dad when I was 17 and when he was diagnosed with cancer that's exactly how I felt. Although, I was "too young" do to anything...

I'm praying for you and your mom. You two are lucky to have each other. A mother's love is one of a kind... <3

Rachee said...

sending oodles of thoughts, prayers and hugs to you and your momma.

Jennifer said...

sending good thoughts and hugs your way to you and your mom. Your outfit was killer btw!

Lauren said...

Sending lots of prayers for your mom! I don't know you but I can tell you are an incredibly strong women and she's lucky to have you by her side through all of this.

Ann Marie said...

Sending you and your mom lots of prayers and positive thoughts.

JillFantastic said...

Thinking of you two!

amber said...

You both are in my thoughts and prayers. {{hugs}}

Tahoebound2009 said...

You and mommy are in my thoughts.

Mrs. Lexi said...

((hugs)) sending good vibes out to you and your mama. Positive thinking helps so much!

honey my heart said...

stay strong. prayers and positive thoughts for your mom!!

{grace} said...

Your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry that she's going through this. I have been in your shoes, and it broke my heart to read this latest news about your mother. I hope she receives better news soon.

It's going to be hard, but I believe that you will bring her a lot of strength during this time.

harp said...

I was touched by the way you described what your grateful for. Despite the news, your attitude, hope and faith is what will get you through this. My one and only beloved aunt passed away from cancer last month after a 9-month battle. Those of us that loved her never gave up, hoping, fighting and praying. We were grateful for every moment spent in her company and the honor to have known and loved her.

Like you said, this is not the end for you and your mother "not even close." Poignant words.

Abrazos.

I hope you

Jadelily said...

Sending lots of good vibes and love your way. I'm sad to hear of the news, but the bond between you and your mom is incredible. I'm glad she's got you taking care of her, and that you've got your strong network of people taking care of you.

Liz said...

Thinking of you two!

Fashion Intel said...

I read this when you first wrote it but I didn't leave a comment because I really wanted to send you a card to say I was thinking about you and your mom. Of course I didn't know yr address, but I still wanted to send one. Still thinking of you two. xo NJ

LinkWithin

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin