Earlier this week I decided I wanted to cook tonight. Just like that. After avoiding all things cooking like the plague for 32 years. A light bulb seemingly went off, the planets aligned and I decided why not.
To be honest, it was partly Peaches' influence. He was telling me about a delicious, easy dish he whipped up for his parents this week. Despite my violent protests to the contrary, he said he KNEW I could make the dish. He said he had faith in me even if I didn't. Do you have magical people in your life that make you believe you can do anything? That's what a beautiful boy I've known for nearly 15 years named Peaches does for me and I am grateful.
Mr. Diabolina also majorly influenced today's Julie/Julia episode. As I’ve mentioned, he’s been working non-stop preparing for a trial and is under enormous stress. I've been trying to find small and not so small ways to make things easier for him, be supportive, lighten his load, be a good partner and friend.
This week, I flashed on an off-handed comment he made a few months ago. Something about how he wished I’d give cooking a try. It was totally innocuous but I threw a FIT. I felt defensive and indignant. All I heard was a man telling me...ME!!!...he preferred me (barefoot and pregnant) in a kitchen.
This week, I realized how I neglected to actually hear what Mr. Diabolina was saying. Instead I heard what I wanted to hear, what fed my insecurities and guilt and ego. I didn't think about the fact that Mr. D never tries to tell me what to do. That he NEVER asks me for anything, he never asks anyone for anything. "Giving cooking a try" was the least I could do for the man that has supported me through hell and back.
So with some liquid courage by my side and my fingers crossed, I managed to make a Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Fennel and Garlic. All by myself. Like a real grown up fancy pants lady.
Happy to report it was everything Peaches promised it would be: FOOL-proof, fragrant, and delicious. Felt empowering to get out of my comfort zone. Came to terms with the fact that I'm not great at not being great at things. Realized that's why cooking has such a big fear factor attached to it. May be what's behind my marriage and motherhood phobias too. Ughs to Type A perfectionist good little girl stick up my ass-ness.
Best part of my day: Mr. Diaboilna cleaning his plate then doing the dishes. Made me think this might be our new Friday night ritual.
But not to fret, fashion will always be my first love.
Forever 21 dress and capelet
Forever 21 bracelets
Chanel bag and earrings
Stella McCartney heels
A is for Adventurous
Dug out this dress today because I've been mooning over similar Balenciaga shapes lately. Quite forgiving across the hips when you've been doing serious eating and little exercise.
Been positively gaga over gray dresses and gray separates in recent weeks. Probably because they match my mood. Can't seem to shake these mehs.
Felt like the daytime sequins were absolutely necessary today. Needed some kind of fabulous to get me through yet another day at The Office.
Plus it was a good reminder that domesticity doesn't have to look dowdy. I'll conquer my cooking fears and look fabulous doing it. Just you watch.