Friday, August 8, 2008

Diabolina Does Deep Thoughts

Something I wrote a million moons ago. Something that St. JudE loved and pertains to a tough conversation she and I had this weekend. About the constant bombardment of shit life seems to hand you and how important it is to remember you are not alone.


What if i told you I think we are all lost...together?

Does that make you want to cry or smile? Does it bring you comfort or pain? Does it help you find order in things or make you feel confused by the chaos?

It makes me smile while I cry.

Why does it have to be black or white? Nothing is all good or all bad, right? In pain, there are beautiful lessons. In hard truths, there is comforting solace.

As I look in the eyes of the people who inspire me, the people who spill tears for me - Frank, Kyle, Kara, Kim, Jason, Ginny, Kevin, Judy, Molly, Jean, David, Anthony - I find home.

As I hand them a part of my story, a part of my journey, they hand me their hearts. Their eyes glisten for me. Their eyes fill with tears and literally overflow with their friendship for me.

They give me the most precious things you can hand any person. They hand me themselves.

I hand them my story, my heart because I trust they'll handle both with care. There is no more beautiful gift than this.

And I am blessed to have these souls, these angels, these pixies. These people whose light I see so clearly. The light that emanates from them, that shines through. These people, my friends, they sparkle. These beautiful, broken, divine human beings. These people that I gather with every step of this journey.

I attract them and they attract me. Our energies attract. I see it so clearly now. This light. This magnetic energy. We all have it.

It must be our souls reaching out for each other. Was it circumstance that brought us together? Was it chance? Or was it our souls compelling us together - like magnets that don't have a choice.

These wonderful people who would bleed for me if I asked them to. These people who have bled for me in one way or another over the years. They give me the courage to explore my gifts and my talents and my pain. They give me power. They hand me their hearts and their friendship and I know what to do with both.

They don't know what they give me - not really. They will never know how they sustain me and make me shine and feel alive. When they see my potential and I see theirs.

When I see them and they see me. Not the pretense, not the pretty veneer we put on for most people. They see the ugly in me and choose the beauty. They see the broken and opt to laud the strength.

all of this. all of this happens in ordinary moments. over drinks in crowded bars, in restaurants swirling with life. in ordinary moments we share our souls. we love. we ache. we are lost...together.


dapotato said...


weezermonkey said...

They see the ugly in me and choose the beauty.

For this, I thank Mr. Monkey every day.

Anonymous said...

Hugs to you, D! I know you're going through a rough time. You and your beautiful mama are in my thoughts and prayers!


tam pham said...

how amazing it is that you have such great people in your life especially in times like these.

amber said...

love this.

Sable Crow said...

kiss you


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