Enjoy such a lovely day with my mother today. We don't do anything special. Just the usual Sunday fare: eat, talk, shop, repeat.
But all day I feel so understood by her. So cherished and supported. What gift for a mother to hand her daughter.
I've been thinking about the mother/child bond quite a bit lately. Maybe St. JudE sending me these gorgeous shots of her little angel on Friday triggered the musings.
Maybe it's because a co-worker on my team just got back from maternity leave after having twins and I'm watching her juggle.
Regardless, the "to baby or not to baby" debate has been dancing in my head all weekend. Been really focused on the multiple and insidious ways our parents shape us. Mold our views of the world.
How that parent-child bond can sustain us. And how it can really screw us up at times. Realizing just how imperfectly perfect it is.
For the last year, I've noticed how glowy all my closest friends are around their babies. I've watched these girls I once knew become women. Become someone's mother. Have watched them change and somehow stay the same.
I have watched them learn a secret language. That language of mother and child. One that I can't quite understand or speak. Not yet. Maybe never.
And I live in L.A. so I watch my famous "friends" with their babies too :)
Envy how at ease and complete they look around their baby girls, their very own mini -mes.
And though I am seduced by the idea of building what my mom and I have with a whole new delicious little person, I worry about becoming a mother. Worry it may not be for me.
I worry what that might mean about me - that I'm not mature enough or selfless enough or loving enough or maybe all of the above? I worry about losing my self if I have a child. I fear losing my freedom and maybe my ambition and probably most of my guilty pleasures.
I worry about the doors it will shut permanently. All the ways it would change my relationship with Mr. D. I worry about making decisions that are irrevocable and about windows of opportunity closing forever.
Ugh. I worry alot ;)
Fashion District two tone dress with crochet overlay
Forever 21 lucite bangles and sunglasses
Louis Vuitton Damier tote
Fashion District rosette sandals
It's a dream to not have to worry about looking good when you are worried about big life choices ;) Thank GOD for the Los Angeles Fashion District!
This dress is the definition of adorably chic. The minute I saw it my eyes bugged out like a cartoon character. An exquisite, inspired-by-Mr.-Phillip-Lim frock for less than $100!!! COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.
Had just tried to find his red/black/white dress during the Barney's sale. But there were none left the second time I went. Frankly, I was a bit relieved - had been trying to justify plunking down several hundred for it. So glad I didn't!
Now this dress is not a perfect copy by any means. For one, it wrinkles super easily. The material is quite synthetic. No me gusta. And the crochet overlay isn't as intricately stunning as the original. Boo.
The sizing is also off. I bought the small because of the incredibly sacky cut. And it's actually still quite big in the middle.
And look at how short it is! Eeks. A mini! But I guess the original looks pretty daringly short too. Will likely have to pair it with leggings to make it work appropriate.
No matter. I felt dreamy today. Easy and casual yet pretty and pulled together. And pockets and detailing and color blocking - they are some of my very favorite fashion things all rolled into one reasonably priced dress. H-E-A-V-E-N!
Alas, no compliments from strangers today but loads of dumbfounded stares. Decided to take that as a good thing. And my mom - of course - adored it. She said I sparkled in it.
Love that. Love to see myself through her eyes. Makes me less worried, more fearless. Even for just a day.