Da Fashionista.com

The Scene
I didn't mention that my doctor found the hypothyroidism last week by accident. I actually went in with different symptoms that have been bothering me on and off since April. My general practioner couldn't figure out what was wrong so he referred me to a specialist.

I didn't mention all this because today I was supposed to see the specialist. And I was supposed to get a test done that would tell me everything was all right. I figured there was no need to alarm anyone. Didn't even tell my mom.

Unfortunately, the test didn't go as planned today. The specialist found something - 3 abnormal lesions on an organ. So he is recommending a biopsy. It will be a four hour surgery. Outpatient. Just a week or so of recovery. Scheduling it for sometime in July.

I was fine as the doctor went through the odds with me. 80 percent chance it is not cancer. More likely, it could be the beginning of a chronic condition. One that 7 million other Americans live with every day. One without a clear cause.

There are several treatment options including medication, stress management and diet modifications. I can expect flare ups but sometimes the condition goes into complete remission. Don't feel like geting into more details now. Not until I know more.

I left the doctor's office fine. I felt relieved in a way again. Glad it hasn't all been in my head. Happy I know more. But by the time I got home and told people, I was messy and emotional.

I quickly realized I am not so much afraid of death. I am more afraid of how my life will change. I am afraid of how my relationships will change.

I am afraid of becoming a person with a chronic illness. I am afraid of how it will limit what I can do. I am afraid of not feeling like me anymore.

I am afraid.

Thankfully Peaches and Mr. Diabolina and my mom helped assuage the fear. They said all the right things, did all the right things and above all, they just loved me today. Amidst so much darkness, there is also great light and for that I am always thankful.

Juana, one of my oldest and dearest friends, said it best in an email - an email that simultaneously broke my heart and filled it:

Diabolina,

Life has dealt you a great deal of lemons in the past few months. I'm here to let you know that sugar and water is with you, too, always. Let's make some lemonade.

You've done the crying (and I've done a bit at my desk here at work) and that's a part of the process of dealing with things. But, don't wear yourself out with the crying and the negative.

Get up. Put on a cute outfit. Take a walk outside. Get the sun on your skin and put a smile on your face. No matter what, you will always have the strongest foundation of family and friends behind you. With that, you can get through anything.

Call me if you need anything at all. I will be there in a jiffy. I'll take the walk with you.

Lots of love,

Juana
"bring on the lemonade"

With friends like that, I am going to be fine. Right?




The Outfit
Forever 21 top and skirt

The Accessories
Chanel earrings and bag
Pucci scarf
Dior sunglasses
Marc by Marc Jacobs heels

The Grade
A









The Commentary




Built the outfit around this gorgeous new skirt. LOOK at that tulip shape.



Uber luxe for just $15.80. Love love love.














My signature colors were a must today



Wanted to feel beautiful and powerful as I stared down a super duper invasive procedure. We're talking torture chamber. Seriously. Traumatized for life.
















Was inspired by loads of black and white looks from the CFDA







































Loving how black and white can take you from the weekend






















To The Office















To evening












It will even work when I'm pedaling my memoirs someday ;)