The Scene
Awake to a white boy ritual I still find hilarious. I've dated Mr. Diabolina for 9 years and for 5 of those he lived with Danny B. So I have witnessed this dynamic duo in these exact poistions many a time.


Their meticulous application of sunscreen is truly an art. They even manage to force me to slap some on too. Boo. Don't they see I need some color? Gone are my golden baby days if they have anything to say about it - wah!




Head out to do the canopy zip tour. Look at my three pretty babies pretending not to be anxious. We are all first timers.

We board a big open tank of a vehicle which takes us 40 minutes outside the city. Pass some gorgeous seaside scenery as we make our way to the jungle.




When we get to the tour site, we crack up at all the Predator references. Never imagined people would be super proud of this film. Ever. Anywhere!






After a SHORT training session by guys who remind me of the Jackass boyz, we are unleashed on 12 zip lines. EEEKS!


I immediately become a pet of the Jackass boys because I am shaking and cracking jokes in Spanish about pooping my pants and prove to be the worst at breaking. Diabolina the not-sporty-monkey strikes again!

The delicious Daisy Duke's becomes a fave too but for better reasons: she is tall, hot and very Lara Croft in her gear. YUM :)

Me, I look more like I'm ready for the Special Olympics in my helmet. BOOOO!


Really amazing experience that I highly recommend. At times terrifying but truly exhilarating. Felt like a bird soaring over the tree tops. The views where insane.

Plus, it further cemented the rapport between the four of us. Nothing like doing something for the first time together. Yay for vacation besties!!





After an hour of death-defying antics and serious mountain climbing, we are parched and booze it up.




And then Danny B. almost breaks a hip sliding off some gringo death trap. Ugh. He is the ultimate scramble-sporty-spice monkey. He regularly takes Mr. Diabolina shark fishing and lobster diving. I pretend to be nonplussed by his antics but secretly I wish I was as fearless as he is ;)




The tour ends with a tequila tasting in the middle of nowhere. FINALLY a dangerous activity with my name written all over it. I do all my shots and most of Daisy Duke's and Danny B's because suddenly they are tee-totalers. Love that they automatically know the brown girl can handle her tequila.

We try apricot and almond and chocolate and moonshine tequilas. Delish. Mr. Diabolina tries to hang too but can't ;)

We are too funny.

Play in the pool when we get back which requires ANOTHER sunscreen application.

Adorable baby style.






Then it's time for our fanciest feast of the trip. Each night we get to request something delicioso for dinner.


Tonight Danny B. suggested lobster and shrimp. It was taste overload. We inhaled every last morsel.




Instead of chit chat all night, we break into the closet o' board games for the first time. I choose Scrabble thinking my English major skillz are going to dominate. Instead I suck. I suck balls. Gems like "it" and "hues" are mine. Blech!


Danny B ultimately wins the game and my undying love for being good at sporty and verbal reindeer games.

Best day of the trip!


The Outfit
Banana Republic striped tunic
Puerto Vallarta sweat pants

The Accessories
Hello Kitty Purse
Yellow heart earrings
Plastic black and white sunnies
Stella McCartney for Adidas trainers

The Grade
B+








The Commentary

Decided that if today I died zip-lining I wanted to be in my signature colors - black and white. I wanted them to tell my mom, "Yes, she is the only person we've ever lost but damn, she looked like Coco Chanel plunging into the jungle."

I think Mr. Diabolina had a similar thought. He wore his ABSOLUTE FAVORITE t-shirt. It's one my mom brought him back from Guatemala. It's emblazoned with the Guatemalan beer Gallo. I. LOVE. HIM.

Brought two pairs of good sunglasses - black Guccis and brown Chanels - to Mexico. Decided I should protect my peepers in style. They were my only designer accoutrements the whole trip.


But today I decided to wear these cheapy ones in case I accidentally dropped them while soaring like a birdie. Bought them in the fashion district for $10 a few years ago. Love how they look like something Posh or Katie would don. Very Jackie O too.


It NEVER occurred to me to bring pants to Mexico. And I didn't quite understand what the harness would look like so I figured my jean Marc by Marc Jacobs skirt would do. What a tard. So I had to buy this pair of sweats yesterday. $10.

When I was about to do my first line, one of the tour guides asked me who had put on my harness. I panicked and narced out the guy thinking he had done something wrong.

The tour guide just laughed and said he must be gay because he put it on all fashionable for me, like a corset. HAHAHAHAH! I swear I can't escape fashion even when I try.

For dinner I changed into a new Forever 21 color block jersey dress. Heavenly for just $19.

The neckline is a bit skimpy for me but I am in love with the color combos on this one. Looks so great with my (increasingly) tan skin.







I even had the PERFECT flip flops to match.
I'm good.








p.s. I'm also naughty. Have been playing with Polyvore while Mr. D is at work. SSSSSHHHHH!

But JUST LOOK at my crazy for color blocking collages - SO CUTE!!!

The Scene
Slept like a baby. Or maybe I should say like a mermaid. You see, we discovered our clam shell head board lights up. Um, H-Y-S-T-E-R-I-C-A-L.




Enjoy a feast of a breakfast courtesy of Marilu and Eufracio. Fresh fruit, juice, breads, coffee and chorizo with eggs. Yummers.


Head into downtown Puerto Vallarta for a little sightseeing.



We window shop and look at the seaside art and pop into a cathedral.






I look for the long summer dress I've been fiending for but everything is too cheesy. Keep my eyes peeled for cool gladiator sandals but nada. Not feeling the silver jewelry either. Wah. Do see some sweet Mexican wrestler masks that I think the boys should buy.


Also like all the home stuff I see. Little Nativity scenes and beautiful tile work.


But decide to buy stuff later on the trip when I'm not such a wide eyed sucker ready to bleed American dollars.





Our big accomplishment of the day is booking a tour to do zip lining. In the jungle where Predator was filmed. We are all super excited to play Ahnuld tomorrow and then do some tequila tasting ;)


The heat and all the arduous strolling takes it out of us pretty quickly. We duck into a bar for Pacificos and snacks. Interestingly, during the ENTIRE trip, the salsa is always placed square in front of me. It's like they know I am the salsa monster/predator. LOVES IT!



We head back to the house and explore the beach that's just a few yards from us. It's like bathwater. Delish. We then head back to the pool for more swimming and then eventually have a siesta. Vacationing is EXHAUSTING apparently.



We have another feast for dinner prepared by the magical Marilu. She makes us the best carnitas I have ever had and a to-die-for tomatillo salsa. We watch a cruise ship chase the setting sun and both eventually disappear into the horizon.



Magical second day.





The Outfit
Fashion district strapless jersey dress in brick

The Accessories
Brass Plum necklace
Target turquoise sandals
Forever 21 bracelets
Hello Kitty clear purse
Chanel brown quilted sunglasses

The Grade
A-

The Commentary
I want to marry this dress. Dig everything about it. The shape and the color and the feel of it. So comfortable but so chic. It is going to be a versatile building block for summer outfits. Can picture it with some sassy scarves or structured but light jackets or even my drapey wrap sweaters. Terrific score downtown for just $19.

This necklace I love love love from way back. Less than $15 but I adore the color combos strung on the light colored ribbon. If I could design the perfect vacation necklace this would be it.


Mr. Diabolina and I again matched today. Our cuteness seriously knows no bounds. He is deliciously relaxed all day. I am thrilled he was able to get away from the salt mines. He needs this vacation more than even I do.



Today I take out my fave Hello Kitty cheapy purse. That's right it's got the kitty surrounded by colorful fruit! So. fucking. cute. It's like the HK designers asked themselves what can we do to make Diabolina squeal with delight. I rarely have occasion to wear it but god, does it make me happy when I do.



Bought it when the transparent purse thing was big. $1000 for a plastic Chanel or $24 for Kitty? No brainer in my opinion.




On a final note, I want to share something exciting and very personal: This was the first scantily clad vacation in my life where I didn't constantly fret about my weight.

I felt good in a bikini. Not completely comfortable, but the most comfortable I've ever felt. I felt like this is the body I have earned after 30 years.

This is the body I have been taking care of and making stronger for the last 4 months. This is the body that has done things like a mud run, bootcamp classes, running 5 miles - things I never imagined I could do. This is the body that has survived - survived the stress of my grandmother's heart attack when I was 8, my mother's cancer scare when I was 11, my dad's death when I was 16, and a serious car accident when I was 19.

This is the body that has traveled the world and navigated different schools and jobs and relationships with me in my 20s. This is a body that has been lucky enough to enjoy fine food and salsa and Sprinkles cupcakes. This is the body that has enjoyed a scotch or three and stayed up late partying and dancing and living.

And this is the body that will possibly in the next decade carry my children and run a marathon. Or maybe rule the world ;)

I realized this is my body and I should honor all it's been through with me. I should stop wishing for someone else's body, stop feeling ashamed of it. I should respect the body I have...in all its perfectly glorious imperfection.

NEW FEATURE: DEAR DIABOLINA

Fabulosity emailed me a few weeks ago:

Hi Diabolina,

Thanks for giving us your e-mail address, I've been waiting for that.

I purchased this skirt and top but haven't worn them because I don't know what to pair them with.


If you could help me I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

The Dear Diabolina Answer:

I immediately wrote Fabulosity back and told her that this was a yummy conundrum for me but that I would need some time to get her the "right" answer. Have been thinking about it as I shop and peruse other sites. Even decided to put together my first little Polyvore set to respond to her questions. (I've been avoiding this site and playing with it like the plague since I hear it's the ultimate way for a fashionista to get lost in an online time vortex. Mr. Diabolina already complains I'm on the computer to much!)

So let's start from easy to hardest F21 piece.

The tunic is like so many tunics that I sport regularly. It's got great detail at the neckline and the color makes it an easy blank palette. The only problem is that it looks quite voluminous with the pleating and the swingy cut. This means it's easy to look preggers.

With this in mind, I'd suggest keeping the rest of the outfit quite fitted. Showing your shape via your limbs is key. You can do skinny jeans (colored ones if you are feeling daring) or simple calf length leggings (I have ones in black, brown and electric blue.) You might also be able to pair it with a simple SHORT demin mini if you've got good legs and know how to use them ;)

I think you could throw on a fitted jacket as well to give the look a bit more structure and make it more formal/work appropriate. Remember to please keep it fitted and show your shape.

With anyone of these bottoms you could do flats or heels. And I would suggest fun earrings or a bracelet since you won't be needing a necklace. Here are some of my faves from Polyvore:

Now for the short tiered skirt. It's a look I did quite a bit in junior high but not much since. Not because it isn't adorable but because I hit 14 and became way too hippy to pull it off. I think it is a look best saved for straight and narrow hipped chicas.

I found a few examples of how the fashion wizards styled this type of skirt at Forever 21.


Think thin fabrics that can tuck into the sheer material of the skirt or hang over it delicately. Think fun and feminine.








Last night, I was catching up on my regular blog reads and found that one of my fave fashionistas Fashion Toast has the exact Forever 21 skirt!!!

I HEART this girl's style (and writing.) I read her daily even though half the looks she puts together would never work on me given the fact that I am about 3 sizes bigger than her and 6 years older. Wah.

Really loving how she toughens up the skirt with a little leather jacket and cool fugly nurse shoes. She is very Kate Moss, very French magic.



One final note on this skirt. If you are feeling adventurous, you can wear it as a top with fitted pants and maybe a little jacket. I used to do this in college with skirts that no longer quite fit. Haven't tried it in a while but did it for fun at a resale store with a Marc Jacobs skirt that was a size too small. Wah.




And now the pleated sailor skirt. This one is also a toughie for me since it's not a look that works on my body at all. Again I am too thick in the middle to pull this high waisted look off. The buttons and the pleats would just draw too much attention to my problem areas. This sailor dress is about all I could pull off in the boating wear family.



So though I am kinda talking out of my ass, I would suggest wearing thin tops tucked in to the skirt much like the ones you'd pair with the guazy tiered skirt. They can be finer t-shirts, button downs or tanks. Just make sure if the top has buttons they don't fight the skirt's buttons too much. In other words, make sure it's not too button busy.


The deminy look of the skirt is terrific because you can dress it down or up depending on the top and the shoes you chose to pair with it. Very versatile. Think you'll get get alot of use of it once you crack the code of what to pair it with in your closet.


When I close my eyes, I can see it working with a nice thin scoop neck pristine white tee and a puffy sleeved fitted black jacket and round toe black heels and a killer red bag and red lips.

Hearts and thanks for the challenge, Fabulosity. Send pics of how it all works out ;)