Friday, December 4, 2009
Patti's Piggie: USC Homecoming 2009
USC Homecoming 2009
So let's not talk about the game. Ever.
Instead, let's talk about yummier things like my pre-game sausage fest. With Mr. Diabolina in San Francisco for a month-long trial (waaaaaah!), I had to make due with THREE beautiful, hilarious, gay boyfriends for this year's festivities. Poor me, right?
Promptly at 9 am, Sable Crow, Mr. Architect, Mr. NBC and I showed up at the USC LAMBDA Alumni tailgate and went to gay piggie WORK. Hit the bar for mimosas, the buffet for omlettes, the dancefloor for a little Bad Romance and the buffet again for carb loading...to offset switching from mimosas to straight champers....all before 10:30 am.
At some point, I switched to one of my greatest guilty pleasures: malt liquor. I know, I know: you can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl.
I typically prefer Mickey's but Mr. D's high school bff came bearing King Cobra. Who was I to say no? It's not like I'm a responsible 32 year old grown woman watching her weight. Perish the thought.
Per usual, malt liquor leads to hilarious things like chestering nubile young co-eds with your old fart cronies.
And thinking that when during the game the boys suggest garlic fries and funnel cake in addition to the burrito you ALREADY inhaled, it's a FABULOUS idea. F. WHY DO I INSIST ON EATING LIKE A MAN???
So that's where I was when the Trojan Football empire came crashing down: eating like a hog, drunk as a skunk. Thank god.
Diabolina "most my jeans don't fit and I wonder why" Da Fashionista
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