Ugly Sweater Party Costumes

New Feature: Costumes Make Life Better

In honor of Christmas Eve, I wanted to share some photos from my first ever Ugly Christmas Sweater party a few weeks ago. Behold and revel in the holiday wrongness. While other friends went to Aardvark's or aahs! to get their Christmas fug on, I simply raided my mom's closet.






























Yes, she actually wore this sweater every Christmas. Seems like all the pictures of her wearing it have mysteriously gone missing. Hmmmm.

Apparently, it cost a pretty penny at Neiman's back in the 80s. All I know is that just the sight of it used to make me giddy; meant presents were headed my way. Fa la la la la indeed ;)
























I would only don such hideousness in public for one person: Lauragami. She is one of those magical people that commits to costumes - (REINDEER ANTLER) HEAD TO (SANTA LOVING) TOE!




























































We plotted our outfits days in advance and agreed on one must: red lips. We are obsessed with them lately even though we're both historically nude lipgloss kinda girls.































Figured tonight would be a good night to give bold lips a whirl. No one was going to be pointing at our lips and laughing with all these Santa's little helpers around.




































































































































Mr. Diabolina, agahst at my sweater, opted to keep things simple. Slapped on a big red bow. Yum. Most delish present I ever got.






























































But wouldn't you know that tonight of all nights when I'm dressed like a hot mess, I meet one of my newest idols: THE Easy Tone Reebok girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!































You know the one with the FABULOUS tush in that commercial, the one that makes you want to buy those damn shoes if they make you look half as hot as she does. I was just tweeting about her.






















I was seriously SUPER DUPER star struck. We're talking meeting Phillip Lim excited. Thankfully, like any friend of Lauragami's, she just happened to be cool and funny and self-effacing and lovely.

Not only is she a fellow brown sista but she rocks at karaoke. Ugh! Aaaaaaaaaadore meeting BFDs (big fucking deals.)































And love me some aahs! Stopped there and picked up Mr. D's big bow. I also grabbed this jingle bell necklace.






























When my mom came home from the hospital last week, I had the ingenious idea to put it by her bed so that she could let me know whenever she needed anything. Happy to report that she hasn't abused it.























And that tonight, after a dinner of tamales and beans and coffee cake and Harry and David pears, we ventured out. Walked around The Grove and caught a showing of Young Victoria. Another week and she should be back to normal.


































I wish you and your family a happy, healthy and hilarious holiday.
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And for myself, I hope that Santa forgets what a finicky, uppity little bitch I was all those times I didn't want to sit on his lap. Ugh. Children like me make the baby Jesus cry.